Ever since my son was born, I've second-guessed everything I've done. Have I encouraged healthy sleep habits? Did I introduce solids too early? Should I have weaned him months ago? I suppose it's a direct result of all the magazines and internet sites I used to browse, and all the uber-opinionated babyologists who claim that if I didn't follow their child-rearing instructions exactly, my child would end up in juvie before he turned 10.
I've stopped turning to Google with every baby question I have, and instead rely on my own intuition, the advice of seasoned mothers I personally know, and (most importantly) what my husband and I know about our child. I still have my misgivings, and I doubt they'll ever fully go away.
So it was quite a treat when I found my son sitting on the floor, holding a book, pointing at the pictures, and saying the appropriate words. For the first time in motherhood, I can honestly say, "There! I did something right."
Child psychology and its ministers destroy mothers and children.
ReplyDeleteAt one dark point in my mothering of my first child, I was so completely broken by the constant harping of an amateur child psychologist (a family member) that I believed I stood no chance of raising my kid without professional help. So, one day, I was on the phone with an actual child psychologist, fixin' to make an appointment for my dysfunctional baby and my failure self, when said dysfunctional baby (then two) came into the room singing, wrapped herself around my legs, and looked at me adoringly.
I hung up the phone and resolved never to read another book, visit another Website, or entertain the advice of any amateur psychologist ever again. Bump them, sister. Those fear mongers don't know anything about anything, and they know even less about children.
Ahhh...that just makes you want to smile and clap your hands!!
ReplyDeleteOur pastor used to joke that the reason the firstborn in the Bible always received the larger blessing was that he needed it to make up for the fact that he was the one the parents primarily "learned on". Funny.
ReplyDeleteI think, like you said, that to "instead rely on my own intuition, the advice of seasoned mothers I personally know, and (most importantly) what my husband and I know about our child" is the way to go. Through the pain of over-analyzing my failures in my early years of parenthood (and later years too :) I have learned (and still am learning) this as well.
Good for you! The first of many such moments to come, I'm sure!!! Of course you are doing well, you love your child, genuinely care for him, and are surrounded by loving examples of good parenting!
ReplyDeleteChildren are hardy creatures. Love them well and they will recover from pretty much everything else.
YES! It has been a recent revelation of my own that the confidence and God given abilities are called too often into question by all those books and websites. I am ridding my own home of them and will encourage my children to rely on the Word of God and the catechism when their turn comes. The little medical portion of a few of them have been helpful when this mom was having a panic attack but...........then again, I could have just called my doctor as he told me to if I had any questions. Sigh. Good for you for realizing this now instead of nineteen years from now. I haven't actually cracked one of those books in years but they were still wasting space on my shelves.
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