Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Helicopter mom?
Perhaps it's because I just have one child, or perhaps it's because I'm still a "new mom," but I still can't understand why I would be expected to leave my child with a person whom he considers a stranger, simply so I can go do something without him when he's only two. It just seems selfish. But perhaps I'm an overbearing mom and my son will never find a job and will live forever in my basement eating take out pizza and playing video games.
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Ignore them. You are NOT a helicopter mom. You are content in your vocation and wise beyond your years. Smile and wave!
ReplyDeleteThanks! :)
ReplyDeleteI couldn't agree more with Bikermom. We did not use a "real" babysitter (the only time we EVER left our first son was ONE time with my husband's mother because she came and forced us to go get dinner when he was 18 months old before we left for vicarage. Other than that, we did not use a babysitter until my oldest was 3 and my second child was nearly a year old. It was our last year at the seminary and we had tons of friends we could trust.
ReplyDeleteI don't get "me time". Neither do I understand it. Like, what would I do with some "me time"? Spend Dad's money on frivolity? I'd rather spend Dad's money on groceries with Dad's full approval and my time with Dad. Time, as luck would have it, comes free every night at around 7:30.
ReplyDeleteFor most of those checking in here who have used babysitters, I dare say that none of us would have left a 2 year old with someone who was not known to them. When all is well with life then we can attach that kid to us 24 hours a day; however life happens and mom may need to be absent from the tike - for reasons other than what is termed that dreaded "me" time. Mom's parents get sick; that elderly church member needs an emergency caregiver; etc, etc, etc. As an older mom I can state that at some point your children will need to learn to exist as beings separate from their mother - be it for 5 minutes or 50. I'm not sure about "Dad's money" - at our house we just consider it all as being on loan from God. The time I spent away from my children rarely cost our family anything - I don't think we can assume that "me time" = frivolity.
ReplyDeleteMelrose- :)
ReplyDeleteGauntlets-
The thought of going grocery shopping by myself makes me a bit paranoid, let alone a trip to the mall... But what about circumstances that wouldn't fall under "frivilous me-time," say... Bible studies?
Anon-
I agree that sometimes it would be necessary to leave a young child with a trusted caregiver for a time to attend to the circumstances you suggest. Also, I do understand that children ought to eventually learn to exist separately from their parents. However, I do feel that we mothers are sometimes being pressured to pass off our children to people they don't know well so we can do things that people expect of us- be it a job, a church service, a Bible study, etc.
Since it looks like you're a teacher by training, then you would certainly understand that kids do ideally need the strength of a well-formed child-parent bond so that they can navigate the waters of this big ole' world. Enjoy your baby and release yourself from any and all of those activities that others (except you and your husband) expect of yourself. As you and hubby sit side by side in your sunset years, reminiscing, it will only be God's (and your) expectations that have really mattered.
ReplyDeleteAnon: You're a smart girl. You figured out that I didn't equate "me time" with "emergency". Thank you.
ReplyDeleteLeah: I have a hard time with the Bible study thing, too. Dad takes the kids when he can. Otherwise, I either don't go or I bring the kids along. The latter occurs only when I'm actually in charge of something and only after days of preparation, AKA hardly ever. :P
Vicarage worked well- there was only one class, and no one complained if a toddler was making a bit of noise. This year is more of a challenge however. As much as I'd like to skip it, I don't really have that option. Nor do I feel like I have the option of taking him with me... so the only solution seems to be dropping him off at the "Sunday School Daycare." I'm hoping our first call comes with a parsonage conveniently located next door.
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